Finding the time

Well, a lot of time has passed, and I wish I could say it was all well spent time. Unfortunately, my entire summer was spent being tested for various diseases, checking the strength of my heart and lungs, gynocological exams, mammograms, and everything else you can think of.I had a heart cateterization, breathing tests, and that was just the beginning. It seems to me that the medical profession just wants to make sure that I will take good care of the organ, not the other way around!
Still trying to get onto Medicare- I need to sign up for secondary insurance. I got my first bill today from Dialysis from May- I have to pay about $200 for the whole month of dialysis, but my primary insurance is paying over $18,000 for the 12 times I had dialysis in May. I can't imagine what people do who don't have insurance.
I've had a lot of depression in the past few months as well. I just feel like it's never going to happen. I know from all of my doctor's visits that I'm really healthy, but I still worry that something will happen before I get my transplant. I feel like I have to keep up a happy and optimistic face for everyone, because no one wants to see me in a depressed mood, but that is how I feel most of the time. Sad to say.
I have given up most of my extra curricular activities- no StageKidz, except for some work at home, no major extra clubs, or committments at school, and my schedule has gotten lighter as well. But now, I have nothing to do but think. I even got great cleaning ladies to clean my house. All he time I spent on weekends cleaning things up- I don't have to do that now. I think I need a hobby, but I find that I mostly want to be alone.Weird, since I gave up everything to spend time with my friends and family. I constantly push my daughter to go out with her friends; she loves her friends, and I don't want her to spend all of her time worrying about me, of all people. She needs to focus on herself.
More later.